Changeling
by Leftywrite
Summary: Basically, our favorite villanous teen gets a visit from the daughter of a buisness partner...and the daughter is not what she seems and she needs his help
1. It ALL starts

Disclaimer: Though I find Artemis Fowl utterly sexy, I don't own him. if I did, there would be very snoggalicious trouble. That being said...  
  
~Fic Starts Here~  
  
Artemis Fowl couldn't believe what his father was telling him.  
  
"Arty, son, your job will be to entertain Mr. Lai's daughter during the meeting."  
  
No, he definitely couldn't believe what his father was saying.  
"Father?"  
  
"I know, I know, son, but Mr. Lai's company in Hong Kong is very powerful. It would be a plus to, shall we say, form an alliance with him. A merger, you know."  
  
"What are you proposing, then, Father?"  
  
"What I'm proposing, son, is that you befriend yourself to this Tara.  
  
"Tara? I thought The Lai's were-"  
  
"They are Asian. Mr. Lai just found the name and fell in love with it."  
  
"Er, indeed."  
  
"Please, son. This is important to my business. Attract her."  
  
~~The Next Day, En Fin restaurant, London~~  
  
"Ah, Mr. Lai! What a pleasure to meet at last." Exclaimed Artemis Fowl, senior, chock full of charm and good will, "And who is this lovely lady? Tara? Wonderful! Just wonderful!"  
  
Artemis silently groaned to himself as he observed his father oozing his way into their hearts. How degrading.  
  
"Artemis, Tara. Tara, Artemis. I understand you both have a 190 IQ. Quite a coincidence, eh?"  
  
Tara looked up at Artemis Fowl Senior, her face a mask of toleration. "Quite."  
  
"Well, Mr. Lai, why don't we leave the two teenagers to a separate table. Little pitchers have big ears you know..."  
  
And with that, two very smart, very precocious, very sarcastic teenagers were left alone, in a booth for two, utterly and absolutely unsure what to do.  
  
Tara turned to Artemis. Time to do what she was here to do.  
  
"So...Artemis. Holly Short, Commander Root, Mulch Diggums, Foaly, and the rest of the LEP say hi. What do you recommend for an entrée here?"  
  
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AN: Very short, I know! But the next chapter is right there! 


	2. Shock Sets In

Disclaimer: Artemis Fowl is not owned by me, I'm not getting any money in this, and I currently am wearing an undershirt that says: Under the influence of Snape's Sleeping Potion, do not disturb. Wait...where the hell did that come from?  
  
~Fic Starts Here~  
  
Artemis stared at her in shock before reeling back at the sheer force of returning memories. He would have fallen if Tara hadn't grabbed his shoulders and pushed him against the wall, nearly ruining her silk summer dress with water at the same time.  
  
"Artemis, if you faint right now, your whole entire reputation as a cold manipulator will be ruined."  
  
He regained his senses. Well, he didn't faint.  
  
"Wh-What did you just do to me? Why am I suddenly remembering things I didn't before? What the HELL happened to my brain?"  
  
Tara sighed as she straightened up and attempted to brush off the water from her dress. Damn. This had cost money. It was really hard to find a hand-tailored, spaghetti-strapped, Chinese silk summer dress nowadays.  
  
"We had to mind-wipe you. You knew too much. You were manipulating the People."  
  
"Oh." Well, that explained everything, thanks to his rejuvenated memory. "And how, exactly, do you tie in with the People? I thought you were Tara Lai, daughter of Michael Lai, the genetic mogul..."  
  
"I am. Well, legally anyways."  
  
"Pardon?"  
  
"I'm part of the LEP's Espionage unit. I am a Siren. Ethnically speaking. Job wise, I am a Changeling. Basically, I out-age my "father" by about 80 years. And before you ask, yes, this is what I look like normally."  
  
Artemis nodded. "Why would the LEP want to employ a Siren? I mean, no offense, but if you just sang one note, you could-"  
  
"-Not only wreak havoc, I can control minds without any of Foaly's technology."  
  
"And why would you want to un-wipe me? Just wondering."  
  
"Well-"  
  
"Have you two decided on what you would like to order?" cooed a waitress, in sachrine tones, looking condescendingly down at the two teenagers. "We have a DELIGHTFUL children's menu, and if you don't understand what the menu says, I'll be happy to translate for you."  
  
Before Artemis could answer, Tara's head snapped up, and her voice chilled the air.  
  
"No, miss, but I would very much appreciate it if I was not forced to order anything that is fried and cut up into bite-sized pieces. This menu will do just fine, and as I am fluent in more languages than you can think up, I won't be needing your, as you put it, "translating" services. If you please, or sil vous plait, or por favor, I would like the Chilean sea bass, grilled naked, with limejuice and garlic, and for my appetizer I would like the chilled three white bean soup. As for my salad, I will have a Caesar, and please do not over water the dressing, as happened the last time I ate here. As for my drink, I would like Irish spring water. No ice. Ice will dilute the flavor."  
  
The waitress nodded meekly before turning to Artemis.  
  
"And you, young Master?"  
  
Artemis stiffened at the title before replying in icy tones. "I would repeat Tara's exact speech, as it is highly appropriate in this situation, but I would like my food served quickly. Therefore, simply go over her speech in her head, and that will do for my order."  
  
"Y-Yes sir." The waitress scurried away, hopelessly taken down from the masses of long words that emerged from Tara's lips. She was used to teenagers saying things like "duh" and "like". Tara had said neither, though the former was obviously intended.  
  
"So," Artemis began, "What was the point of bringing back the memory of the biggest threat to the People?"  
  
Tara sighed as she rubbed her head with her hand. "Well, human bio- technology has advanced somewhat in the past decade."  
  
Artemis waited for further information. "And?"  
  
"And that includes cloning. Unfortunately, some scientists in from my father's labs got a hold of some fairy DNA. My DNA, actually."  
  
"WHAT?" yelled Artemis, "You let them get a hold of YOUR DNA??"  
  
"It couldn't be helped. They kept insisting, something about my looks. As if I could refuse them. That wouldn't look suspicious at all. Nope, sorry, my DNA can't be taken because I happen to not be human. And they took it publicly, too, so the whole of Hong Kong knows that I will probably be the first cloned human. Or non-human, as you might put it."  
  
"So steal it back"  
  
"That's where we have a problem."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"My father is going to sell the DNA and all other information to your father. Oh, and even worse, we're betrothed."  
  
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AN: Well? Cliffhanger enough? REVIEW! 


	3. Do We Have A Bargain?

Disclaimer: Sexy as he is, I don't own Artemis Fowl. If I did, I would make sure there was action of the romantic variety with him, and I don't even know if the books ended or if there is going to be another one. And I'm wearing the undershirt again. Right.  
  
Oh yeah! Thank you for all the people who said they couldn't wait! And for all the person who pointed out what a Mary Sue Tara was (something about good clothes, cool name, and being poly-lingual) GOOD FOR YOU! I KNOW she's a Mary Sue, but she's a smart-assed Mary Sue, and an intelligent one. I won't have Artemis falling for any ditzes. Nope. She has to be sarcastic. Right.  
  
~Fic Starts Here~  
  
Artemis choked on his water. "WHAT?"  
  
"Er, well, you see, long story short, uhm, our relationship is best described as a business merger."  
  
"And that makes a plethora of sense."  
  
"I didn't suggest it. Just like I didn't suggest that my father sell the specially formulated DNA to your father. Just like I didn't suggest they get their hands on my DNA in the first place. Just like-"  
  
"Okay! Okay! I get the POINT!"  
  
She looked at him strangely. "Do you really?"  
  
Artemis looked up from the piece of bread that he was buttering. "I believe I do. Why do you ask?"  
  
She sighed. "Because, well, do you realize what I'm getting to?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"If we're betrothed, and we are, and we're approaching legal age soon- at least I am-and I know you turned 18 last January-well, we're going to be married very, very, VERY soon. And if you wish to put a stop on it, using LEP technology, then you are going to help us get that DNA."  
  
"I see. And what if I can figure out a way to escape betrothal and marriage?"  
  
"Then humanity will bite the dust of the LEP. Just thought you ought to know."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
There was a silence to end all silences. Just like the glare Artemis sent Tara was a glare to end all glares. Just like the smirk Tara sent him was a smirk to end all smirks.  
  
A moment to end all moments.  
  
And, if Tara was correct, humanity could be ending in moments.  
  
"Do we have a bargain, Artemis?"  
  
He paused, considering the facts. Either there could be a full- fledged, humanity versus the fairies war, and he could end up married to a Siren, or he could help them, not marry the Siren, and prevent a very destructive war.  
  
Yes. The war was too messy to risk.  
  
"Yes, we do."  
  
"Good. Come with me."  
  
Instantly, Tara projected a semblance of them into the booth, hooked Artemis to a moonbelt she had hidden in her purse, wrapped him in camouflage foil, shielded herself, powered up her top-of-the-line wings and got the hell out of there.  
  
She always hated seafood anyways.  
  
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AN: Thank you for all the reviews! Please do more! 


	4. Well, that was unexpected

Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl. That is just one of those things that will never, ever EVER happen. If you want things that would happen in the books, read the books....because I, sure as hell, am NOT Colfer.  
  
AN: Well, I must say, this is the most varied response to any fic I have ever written. Thank you to all the people who enjoyed it and said so :). And to those wonderful flamers, thank you for telling me your opinions. I know it seems very sarcastic, but I actually do like it that people care so much to actually tell me that my fic is the worst they've ever read.  
  
To clarify some things:  
  
I said that Tara is a Mary Sue. What I didn't clarify was how she was a Mary Sue. Tara is like any one of my characters-I see the plot through their eyes. I want to know how they think, so I think in their way. I do the same thing with Canon characters, too, by the way. So in that sense, Tara is a Mary Sue. Sure, she's Asian, and I'm Asian, but the whole resemblance stops there. I wish it didn't, but heavens, do I wish I was her? Maybe a little, but for the most part-  
  
AN EMPHATIC NO.  
  
As for all those people who accuse me of writing down a cliché sort of thing for Artemis and Tara-  
  
How do you know they're going to fall for each other, hmm? Ever think I was sick of all the OFC setting up fics too? Hm? Well....think about it.  
  
Oh, and btw...MysticAngel4-are you reviews always as long as a chapter? Just wondering.  
  
And Hpgirl2! Lovely, dear. I thank you. At least someone is as crazy as me.  
  
Ice Raider: Uhm....thanks. I'll keep that in mind.  
  
Hei, I'm trying to be nice here. Really nice. Normally, I would have done something drastic like go and flame your stories for the heck of it, but I've finally decided it ain't worth it. So yeah.  
  
~Fic Starts Here~  
  
Flying to Stonehenge, well, it was a breathtaking experience.  
  
Meaning Artemis was taking all the breaths he could, because at the moment, Tara was doing some pretty curvy stunts.  
  
Why she wanted him to feel what Kermit the Frog felt, he had no idea.  
  
It was most definitely not easy being green.  
  
Tara did one last loop-de-loop before dropping down on everyone's ex-pizza parlor.  
  
A Mud Boy in the shafts.  
  
Now THAT should be played on LEP's funniest Videos.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Formally, it was called a meeting of the species.  
  
In reality, it was Commander Root trying not to strangle Artemis for being such a....Pretty-Fly-For-A-Mudman-Wannabe-Fairy-Who-Happened-To-Know-How-To- Take-Over-The-World sort of boy.  
  
In the good Commander's words.  
  
In Holly Short's words, it was just a large number of unprintable expletives involving certain bodily functions that would make Mulch Diggums proud.  
  
It was not the Brady Bunch.  
  
"Artemis Fowl, I cannot stress enough the danger of your current situation. You are trapped underground, in LEP territory, under MY laws, MY ways, and MY thinking. If you do not agree with our proposal, then you MIGHT leave unharmed, and I mean MIGHT...or you could just go along with it all and leave unscathed." Root was indeed living up to his name. Beetroot was an understatement. Molten metal was more to the point.  
  
"You're lying. It says in the Book no senseless killing. Me not doing what you say qualifies as a senseless reason." Artemis replied, calmly flicking a dust mote from his fingertips.  
  
Holly leaned forward as she fingered her gun. "Artemis, do you know what this is?"  
  
He shook his head. For once, he didn't recognize something.  
  
"This is a Neutrino 2001. It just came out. First class, if you know what I mean. It doesn't go against the Book to, ah....accidentally pull a trigger when the gun just HAPPENED to be pointing at you, and I'm sure there can be a moment when Commander Root here will UNINTENTIONALLY jostle me, thus causing me, in surprise to pull the trigger, and, ah, well, let's not think of the consequences. Sabe?"  
  
Artemis stared at her. Well. That was unexpected.  
  
"I think he sabe. In fact, I think he REALLY sabe. He sabe in a savvy sabe way that will-"  
  
"Oh, DO SHUT UP TARA. Johnny Depp was wonderful."  
  
"Yes, but DO you have to pull that line in every, SINGLE INTERROGATION?"  
  
"It adds to the effect. And you're ruining it."  
  
"Shutting up now."  
  
"Don't shut up. Just think before you speak." Someone brayed in noxious laughter.  
  
Holly smiled wickedly. "Hello Foaly. Kind of you to join us. Have you had the pleasure of meeting a Miss Tara Lai?"  
  
Foaly went up to Tara and, for once, was polite. More than Polite.  
  
"Hello, Miss Lai," he murmured, kissing her fingers, "It's wonderful to meet you."  
  
She blazed crimson before, "Ah-er-ah-er-uhm, same to you. Foaly. Ch- charmed, I'm sure."  
  
A Centaur? Being attractive to a SIREN?  
  
Oh dear lord.  
  
Send in the soap opera writers.  
  
This wasn't a guiding light.  
  
This was a guiding Missile of Destructive Powers.  
  
She wanted to throw up with swooniness. 


End file.
